Category: Thoughts

I Love Technology

Technology is amazing, let me start off with that. You know why?! Because, I was able to actually see my baby yesterday (10/4/12). It’s about the size of kidney bean but it has a heartbeat… a heartbeat, you guys! I’m telling you, it’s the moment that changed everything for me. I’ve been so skeptical this whole time, worrying if this baby was viable, taking pregnancy tests every day for a week straight, praying and praying and praying for this appointment to come! And it came and it. was. magical.

Just look at that little kidney bean. This picture totally doesn’t do it justice and seeing it move around in there was just ridiculous! It jumped and flinched and I almost lost it. It’s a baby — an actual baby… and I love it so much.

On the not so bright side, this baby is kicking my butt. I can barely eat anything and nothing sounds good except bready-salty things. I haven’t gained any weight yet, mostly because anything I eat ends up in the toilet. Morning sickness is in full effect and I’m pretty much married to my bed. I love sleep… almost as much as I love technology.

But not as much as you, you see… but I still love technology.

Always and Forever.
Leelo and Ander +1

Two Lines

Me: “I’m going to take a bath, or we can go in the jacuzzi if you want to…”
Alex: “Okay…”
Me: “We don’t have to.”
Alex: “Yeah, that’s okay. You can take a bath.”

Nat walks to the bathroom, carrying a candle and her laptop to watch a Rom Com.

Nat: (Thinks to self) “Gosh, it’s still early but maybe…”

Nat walks to the cupboard and takes out a test. An early one.

Nat: (Thinks to self) “This makes sense, right? I am 3 days early… but I’m showing some signs. Ugh, what the heck. We’ve ben trying for 10 months why not take one? At least I’ll know and if it’s negative, I can prepare myself. Okay… here it goes.”

Approximately 4(ish) minutes later…

TWO LINES.

Nat: (Thinks to self) “TWO LINES! TWO LINES! That’s pregnant, right? I’ve never seen two lines before. What do I do? I had this whole thing planned out on how I was going to tell him. Dinner and that teddy bear I… oh, CRAP. I left it at our old apartment. Well, Jonna is still there… but how do I explain that I need to go get it?”

Nat: “Hey! I forgot something at Jonna’s that I need for subbing tomorrow. I’ll just go run and get it. Do you want frozen yogurt? Okay, bye!”

(Thinks to self) “He doesn’t suspect… right? No. It’s fine.”

Arrives at apartment. Lots of jumping up and down. Grabs bear. Drives back — slowly and carefully.

Nat: (Opens door — shaking) “Hey, don’t be mad. I bought a shirt at Anthro for work and I left it at the apartment.

Alex: “It’s okay. Hey! I found something awesome. Come look.”

Nat: (Thinks to self) “Oh no! Did he find the test?! I threw it in the drawer really quick before I left. Maybe he found it?”

Alex: “It’s that rug we want. But guess what? It’s 75% off, just today…” (Then he says a lot of other stuff that I don’t remember because I’m so nervous!)

Nat: “That’s so cool, Bub. Hey… I’m sorry I forgot to get you frozen yogurt, but I think that what I did get you is better.”

Alex: (Opens up anthro bag. Looks up) “Is this? Bubbie? Is this?”

Nat: (Shakes head “yes” and starts crying).

Alex begins to sob, holding the bear and soaking it with his tears of joy.

We’re speechless. TWO LINES.

P.S. I took another test like 5 seconds later. A real one and it was positive. Not even my first pee of the day or anything (TMI, sorry).

TWO LINES.

This is happening. Thank you LORD!!

“I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the LORD. For his whole life he will be given over to the LORD.” – 1 Samuel 1:27–28

Engaged | Thomas & Julie Ann

This past weekend, my sister got engaged! It was a wonderful time together with family (current and new). Her fiance Thomas is a perfect match for her. When he called me to tell me he was going to propose I wasn’t surprised. I had seen how amazing they were together and I knew an engagement was emanate.

He proposed on the balcony of our family timeshare in Oceanside, overlooking the beach and it was lovely to say the least. My husband and I enjoyed shooting both video and pictures of their engagement — which was an honor. You can check out my Facebook link for photos!

I LOVE weddings and this one is so special because it’s my oldest, best friend ever!

Congratulations Julie Ann & Thomas!!

Here’s a little video we put together to celebrate:
Thomas and Julie Ann’s Engagement

Thoughts | A Year Later

It has been a year since we moved away. A whole year. It is crazy to think all that has happened in a year. Over this last year I graduated from college, Alex received a wonderful job offer, we moved to Thousand Oaks, our nephew was born, we started going to a new church, made new friends, saw old friends, my brothers graduated from high school, my Dad retired, Alex and I celebrated 26 years of life and 10 years together.

Alex began a busy and very rewarding job as a Director of UX Design, and I began my job as a homemaker. It was quite a leap from working 40 hours a week and going to school in the evenings. I was used to 14 hour days and then, all of the sudden, I was thrust into leisure. Granted, I maintained the house, bills, property we own, car, laundry, food, medical, etc — but it was quite a change.

To be honest, I am not sure that I have accepted it as… gracefully as I had hoped. I have had to examine how I view success and worth. Gosh, that all sounds so dreary. But it is the truth. What has been so amazing about this time is that I have learned so much about my worth/value/success in Christ over this past year. I did not realize how much value I placed on the opinion of others (teachers, family, friends, even God). I believed that the more successful I was or the harder I worked the more God would love me. Please do not mishear me. I struggle with this constantly.

The amazing truth that has been resonating in me over this past year is GRACE. True grace; meaning that there is absolutely nothing I could do to make God love me more. God is in me. Everything I do pleases Him and is part of His plan and purpose for me because I know that He is God. And because I know that, I don’t know any other way to live than to bask in His glory and grace. My identity in Christ is bigger than any success I could receive; even an A+ in a class. GRACE has completely changed me.

Truths:
I am saved by grace — but also KEPT by grace. (Col 2:6)
Because of grace I serve — not to fulfill some obligation. (Eph 1:7)
Grace is free, the only condition is that you accept it. Therefore, rules are secondary to relationship. (Rm 5:8)
My identity is in Christ, not in the works I do. (Rm 11:6)

The focus is not on me, it is on Christ. If I stopped for one second and even thought about that, then I would know that no matter what I do Christ is in control. God has promised blessing, healing, and above all grace. Our identity in Him is rooted in our understanding of Grace.

So, where am I a year later? I am changed by grace.

“Grace is the means through which we experience & extend God’s rescue & transformation. Through authentic relationship with God & one another, we nurture safe community, healthy identity, continual healing, diversity & freedom. (Matt. 11:28 MSG).”
— From Conejo Church via www.conejochurch.com

Also, a fantastic blog on understanding grace.

Thoughts on Motherhood

I was a single mom for four days last week to my little friend, Tenley and boy… was it eye opening.

First off, kudos to you stay-at-home, working, parents to multiple children, and single moms (and dads) out there.

You are my heros.

I don’t know how you do it all! I worked during Tenley’s naps and after I put her to bed, had absolutely no privacy, didn’t shower for two days, spoke in crazy high-pitched voices, watched Veggie Tales three times in one day, and said, “What is that?” and “What do you want?” a billion times.

All that being said. I love little Tenley girl so so so much. I cannot wait to be a mother. I never even knew I could love someone so much that wasn’t my own child, but I do. It makes me excited for what God has planned for our family. Whether he blesses us with biological children or adopted children. How we’ll make jobs works, where we will live, what we will teach our children. How we will discipline them and embarrass them. Train them to make a difference in their world; to stand out and stand up for what they believe. How they will grow into adults, learn a trade or two and make a living for themselves. Then how they will, eventually, marry and start lives of their own. I can’t wait for all of it.

Bring it on.