Thoughts – Hello Leelo

Teddy | 2 Years Old

Teddy Bear,

You are two years old! Sometimes I look at you and seriously think, “there’s no way this kid isn’t two yet. Isn’t he three already?” You are the smartest, funniest, mood-swingingest, kid I know. You talk in complete sentences now. You know your alphabet and can count to 20 (well, 15). You can even recognize letters and numbers in your world, like the “W” of Wienerschnitzel or the “7” at 7/11.

Here is a list of your current favorite things.

Color: Yellow
Animal: Ducks, but you call them “Quack Quacks”
Phrases: “I dot chu mama!” as you chase me around the house trying to catch me, “Oh Shore” (oh, sure), “Dah doo” (Thank you), “Ya wekcom” (You’re welcome), and “Yet’s doh!” (Let’s go).
Food: French fries or ice cream. Yes, I’m aware they aren’t the best for you — so we limit them.
Person: Your Dad, for sure.
Activity: Helping in any way you can. You love doing dishes and cooking food.
Letters: “T”, “Y”, “W” and “O”. You think that you spell your name “T” “Y” “T” “Y”.
Numbers: “2” and “9”. For the majority of year 1, you would count by saying, “2,9,2,9.” Now you can count up to 15!
Songs: “Everything is Honey” from Winnie the Pooh and “Mister Sandman” by the Chordettes.

You are constantly surprising us with things you say like…

“Eh Moon, where he go?” — “Where’s the Moon?”
“Cookies in da ie ceam?” — “Can I have cookie dough ice cream?”
“I dotchu” — “I got you!”
“Ah-mane up in da ky” — “Airplane up in the sky.”
“Eh so coo” — “That’s so cool.”
“Oh, ee you go, mama.” — “Oh, here you go, mama.”
“Dah Doo, _______” — “Thank you, _______”.
“Ya wekcome” — “You’re welcome.”

And so much more specific these days like…

“Mama, I ba hab ice en neen bow?” — “Mama, can I have ice (yes, just ice) in the green bowl?”

You are a riot, kid.

You run everywhere there days, but you’re also a very good listener and direction follower. We compliment each other well because I love turning everything into a lesson and you love learning. You want to understand how things work, ALL THE TIME. You are always tearing a part things and asking questions. We’re still working on the part where you put things back together after you break them, but for now you mostly get frustrated and cry.

We’ve hit the “terrible twos” like you wouldn’t believe, lately. You’ve also been sick a lot lately too. You’ve had respiratory infections almost every three months this past year and the doctor has pretty much told us that you have asthma (just like your Dad did when he was little).

Some of the things you got to do this past year were…

Travel to Hawaii, Havasu, Big Trees, Seattle, Portland and the Grand Canyon.

Get your first haircut!

Move into a NEW HOUSE.

Become a big brother.

Have your first ride in Papa’s Car. It’s very special to us.

Go to Chuck E Cheese

Get a BIG BOY bed.

You continue to love…

The beach.

The park.

Your backpack.

Coloring.

Donuts.

Your cousins.

Underwood Farms — especially the chickens.

“Happy Birthday” and “The ABC’s”.

Generally kiddo, you just love life and you LOVE learning. We are so amazed at how you’ve grown, adapted, and your capacity to love. You’re not overly affectionate but you do love hugs a certain times and you’ve been asking me to “hold you mama” since your brother was born.

Teddy, we are so excited for this next year of life with you — and all those beyond. May you be blessed on this day and every day. May we show you God’s love and ours each day and may you continue to grow into the amazing person God has made you to be.

We love you,
Mom and Dad

My One Little Word for 2015

For the past few years our pastor has asked us to begin praying about a “one little word” for the coming year. Last year my word was “Rooted”. I wanted to be rooted in Christ and rooted where he had planted me. Over the past year, it seemed like everything happening in my life was doing the exact opposite. Testing the strength of my roots; in my faith, my family, my spouse, myself, in God’s plan for my life. At the end of the year, I could definitely say that I had been tested and God held my “tree” up when I couldn’t anymore. He brought people to plant around me and hold me up, He showed me a place to rest, gave me a new home, a community of people to pour into and He restored purpose in my life. Yes, last year’s word was definitely “rooted”.

“Let your roots grow down into Him, and let your lives be built on Him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness.” – Colossians 2:7

This year, as I was praying about what word God had for me I wondered what the word would end up actually bringing about for me. I definitely didn’t think that “rooted” was going to bring about testing. So, this year I wanted to make sure that when God presented a word to me I didn’t immediately cast it aside because it might evoke something different than what I had hoped for. As I prayed, the Lord revealed to me two words, “peace” and “acceptance”. I think, that in a way, they mean the same thing. At least for me. You know that word “content”? I HAVE ALWAYS hated that word. I took it to mean that you had reached your peak, or that you were fine with where you were. How could that be good? How could it be a good thing to be… content. Everyone ALWAYS laughs at me when I tell them that, but I’ve always been the person who says, “Okay, what’s next.” “What can I do to make this better?” “How can this be more… perfect?”

I think God finally wants to teach the true meaning of being “content”. Now, my word for the year is not “content”. Either, I wasn’t really ready to accept that as my word or whatever, but I’m going with the suspicion that “acceptance” is really what God has for me this year. I want to learn to accept God’s plan for me, whatever it is. I want to live out of His purpose for me; His plan. I want to be able to accept whatever life throws at me with grace, peace and contentment. Yes, I do. I really do.

Is there “one little word” that God had spoken into your life for this year? Think about it, pray about it. And in a year review and see all that the Lord has done in your life. It’s pretty cool, if you ask me.

“This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.” – Psalms 118:24

Baby Lopez | 24 Weeks

Little baby, we’ve crossed the halfway mark and we’re rocking the second trimester, you and me. I’m pretty positive you’re a boy, although everyone (like pretty much everyone) says you’re a girl. Your kicks are so strong! Any time I take a second to slow down from chasing your brother around you make your presence known with a swift kick to my bladder or any other internal organ you happen to be next to. I LOVE your kicks though. I’m so happy to have the constant reminder that you’re alive and well.

I have crazy heartburn with you, just like I did with your brother so I’m guessing you’ll have a full head of hair too. I haven’t had any super weird cravings or carpal tunnel which has been fantastic (however, a slight addiction to coca-cola thanks you).

I can’t believe we’re full swing into the Christmas season already, then into the new year and THEN in three short months you’ll be here. Wow. I’m really enjoying this pregnancy and enjoying cherishing each moment with you until you come into our lives in a crazy way!

* * *

Wow! I cannot believe this pregnancy is already almost half way over. This being my last, I’m trying so hard to take it all in and remember each thing. However, I’m already realizing that splitting attention between two kiddos (even with one in utero) is proving to be an interesting task. People will occasionally ask me, “So, do you feel like you’re ready?” And all I feel like I can say is, “I have no idea!” And truthfully I’m just not entirely sure there’s a way to prepare for life with multiple children.

This past month has been insane — to put it mildly. This month we put an offer on a house, got it approved, went through the inspection process, counter offers and closed escrow all this month! We moved in just this past weekend and the process went incredibly smoothly. I still am in shock that we own a home. It’s ours.

I’m nesting like crazy which is good because there are so many boxes to unpack and so much to get ready before this baby comes. But, I’ve been struggling with sciatica this time around. It’s something I haven’t experienced in past pregnancies and I don’t quite know how to deal with it. I only seem to notice it when I sit or lie down. It always starts to feel better but then there is a burning sensation too. So, as long as I’m on my feet most of the day I don’t really notice it, until my left side of my body twinges or I get numbness. Then I have to stop and ice my back.

Our new house is so great! It has 4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, a sunroom and a small office. The backyard is small and manageable. I LOVE IT. I’ve been pinning ideas like crazy on Pinterest and I can’t wait to tackle each little project one weekend at a time. Our neighborhood is so great. I’ve met two of the neighbors so far and I’ve heard people will come over and introduce themselves soon. I can’t wait. We’re on a cul-de-sac so there are always kids playing outside and there’s a great sense of community already.

I’m ready to start decorating for Christmas already! Let’s get this house unpacked and the tree up. I’m looking forward to this Christmas with Teddy and remembering to cherish this special time I have with just him too.

Happy Christmas!

Baby Lopez | 8 Weeks

Dearest little one, how we’ve prayed and prayed that God would give us another child. We were so sad to have lost our second and you are such an answer to prayer. We got to see your heartbeat for the first time when you were just 7 weeks and 5 days along. We lost your sibling at 7 weeks and 1 day so imagine my joy when the first time I got to see you, you had already passed that time! Seeing you was much too short for me because I could have stared at that little flicker forever. What an amazing gift life is.

Your brother has absolutely no idea that you’re coming. Not a clue. I have a feeling that his world will be completely turned upside down once you get here. Oh wow! We have so much to do to prepare for you!

Keep growing, healthy and strong. You can make me throw up all you want, make me tired, just make sure Mommy knows you’re there. I love you.

* * *

I still can’t believe we are going to have another baby. It’s such an amazing blessing. If I’m being honest, I am a nervous wreck. Having lost a baby previously every, single, little thing makes we wonder if I’ll lose this one too. I was sick to my stomach the day of our appointment. I even scheduled it for 3:30 in the afternoon — what was I thinking?! I almost threw up 4 times that day just from anxiety. When I arrived at my appointment the nurse kept asking me if I felt pregnant, but all I could think is, “I don’t know lady! Just do the ultrasound and tell me if I am or not!”

I know that everything is in God’s hands and even if He decides to take this baby from me that He is still good and His will is perfect. Even in the short time that we’ve had to grieve the loss of our little one, a few other close friends have either lost babies or had troubles conceiving — and I can’t tell you how healing and hard it’s been to walk through it with them. I can see God at work in each of their stories and I am praying so hard for their babies (to come and soon to be).

This pregnancy feels different than with Teddy. I’m not barfing, but I’m nauseous ALL DAY and I am oh, so, so tired. Teddy keeps me on my feet and on my toes with his crazy antics. He’s climbing and singing and dancing and terrorizing the dog, and saying “no, no, no.” quite a bit these days. I think he can sense some changes are brewing and he isn’t quite sure how to deal with it. Except that he needs me ALL THE TIME. Alex can’t even push the cart halfway down the isle before he saying, “Mama? Mama?” Forget about the simple days of dropping him off in the toddler room at church or the day care at the gym. He goes into complete meltdown mode. I’m actually really struggling with how to help him cope with his separation anxiety. It’s a first for me because he’s usually so social, independent, and easy.

We got to tell our families this past weekend (August 23rd-24th) that we are expecting! It was such a blast telling everyone about you and how we already got to see a little glimpse of the little one. Everyone was so over the moon excited.

Around this time of the year (usually not until October), but exchange names with the adults for Christmas presents. It saves us all a bunch of money and we are able to enjoy spoiling the kiddos and just being together as a family; which is my favorite part of Christmas anyway (oh, and also all the food). So, when we were with the Lopezes Nana and Papa had prepared dinner — oh wait, back up. Nana and Papa already knew! They found out the weekend before when they came out to give Alex and I a night off. They took Teddy and brought JuJu with them to stay in a hotel for the night! The next day we showed them a house we were interested in and at lunch I kept forgetting and dropping things and Alex said, “Why are you so forgetful and dropping everything?” And I said, “It’s probably because I’m pregnant!”

Nana said, “Wait, what?! Did you plan that?” (Meaning us telling them, not the pregnancy).

Haha. We really wanted to tell them and when Alex said that, I couldn’t resist.

So, back to the story. Nana and Papa already knew and set the stage for us to tell C&A and the kiddos. We exchanged names and then talked about the holidays coming up and trips we’re planning. I has planned on getting through Christmas and then “casually asking” about April Fool’s Day 2015. But, as things do with kids, they got out of control fast. Teddy refused to eat his dinner, JuJu wanted to play outside and Emmy had a poopy diaper. As we were planning and trying to get everyone back to the table I could tell everyone was getting restless so I finally said, “So, what’s everyone planning on doing April Fool’s Day 2015, because we were thinking about having a baby that day.”

::stunned looks and questioning glances::

“Are you guys pregnant?”

“YES!”

Hugs and such ensued.

The next day we went to Grandma and Grandpa’s church and somehow to it was understood that we were going to Grammy’s house after church for a family lunch. However, no one told Grammy. Hah! Did I make it up? We’ll never know. But, in true Thomazin fashion, we threw something together and went over anyway.

I suggested that since we were all together that we do the name exchange for Christmas. So, I wrote everyones names on the pieces of paper, but on the one I was going to hand to my mom I wrote “Baby Lopez Coming April 2015!”. I stated the rules that you couldn’t open up your paper until everyone had received their paper and then if you got yourself or your spouse you needed to switch. My mom opened hers and screamed! “Are you serious?!”

“What does it say?” “What?”

“It says, ‘Baby Lopez Coming April 2015!'”

Then, more hugging, questions, pictures, and joy was shared.

We can’t wait to meet this little baby!

Teddy | 10 Months

Teddy, I’m not going to lie, this month has been hard — to say the least. You’ve been sick, teething, trying to learn new things this month and it’s been a whirlwind. You’ve mastered copying intonation in our voices, saying, “mama”, “dada”, “bah”, “dah”, “nana” “ah-duh” and “eeeeeeeeeee”. You love to copy hand gestures and you wave at everyone. You can even sing! You constantly bring joy into our lives, even during tough times.

You have two new teeth coming in but only one has popped through giving you 5 teeth total! You just started learning to nod — though it looks more like you’re bowing, AND THEN on the last day of your 9th month on this earth you learned to walk! You’ve taken 5 steps already and you’re very apprehensive but you did it. I knew you could!

We are constantly amazed by the gift that you are to us. We love you.

* * *

Where do I even begin? This month started out with us finding out some amazing news. While I was in the ER getting IV fluids from the awful flu I had, they doctor ran a pregnancy test and told me I was pregnant! I was floored. We had just started trying and I had taken a test the previous month but it was negative. I didn’t know how far along I was and they told me to make an appointment for that week with my OB. I drove home with new energy so excited to tell Alex. They gave me a piece of paper that said, “It has been determined that you are pregnant”, so I circled it a bunch and put some exclamation points after it. When I got home Alex was rocking Teddy so I got ready for bed and put the paper on his pillow.

When he walked in he thought it was a bill for the hospital and was frustrated, but then it hit him… “Are you serious?”, he said. I just shook my head and laughed. He face planted onto the bed. We both were shocked and excited.

The rest of the week is kind of a blur, I wasn’t able to get an appointment until the following week on a Tuesday, so we went through the week with this huge secret and getting excited. We told Teddy he was going to be a big brother — which of course he understood completely. Tuesday rolled around and we were so excited. I had mentioned to Alex that “this was the ultrasound where we [would] get the first picture of our baby!” We arrived and there was no one in the OB office, which I thought was strange. We were put into a room and we waited. The nurse and doctor came in and Alex excitedly talked with the nurse about how Teddy was going to be a great big brother. The doctor placed the ultrasound and looked and looked and looked… and looked. I saw the baby. I saw the sac. But what I didn’t see was a heartbeat. I knew. He didn’t even have to tell me. I remembered so vividly seeing the flicker of Teddy’s heartbeat and it was very clear to me that there wasn’t one here.

The doctor was quiet. The nurse was quiet. Then, finally he said, “Here’s the sac and here’s the baby, but as you can see… there is no heartbeat.” All I could say was, “Yes. I can see that.” I just started answering in the affirmative to every question. I don’t even remember what he said. Then, he printed out the picture. The first and last picture I would ever have of our baby. And I lost it. I was supposed to put that picture up on our fridge next to the one we have of Teddy. I couldn’t handle what was happening and it came out in shaking and tears.

Slowly, we began the process of telling family and friends that we had miscarried — which was difficult because we hadn’t even told everyone we were pregnant yet. I heard some amazing encouragement and had tearful phone calls for days with amazing people who loved on us. People brought us meals, visited us, took care of Teddy so I could rest and mourn. People were amazing. Loving. Alex and I researched our options, I spoke with people who had experienced all the options and ultimately we decided on a D&C. It was hard. They call it a “missed abortion”. It hurt to have a word with such a negative connotation ascribed to this situation where I wanted this baby.

Family surrounded us in the days before, loving on us and taking me shopping (Thanks Debbie). Then, my mother and grandmother came the day before my surgery and helped me. They stayed the day after so I could sleep. I remember being at peace about my decision. I don’t remember feeling empty like I thought I would. I just remember being so very tired. Teddy was amazing. He was so loving, cuddly, and so well behaved with whoever was watching him (Thanks Christy). So many people took care of us, bringing us meals (Thanks Jonna, Sarah and Billy, Sal and Barrett), wine and Oreos (Thanks Am), and talking to us (Thanks Andie, Bree, Ash, Amber, Kim, Meg, Cris, Sarah, Crisa), praying for us (Thanks, EVERYONE!). We felt so much love.

We didn’t really come out of the fog for a few days and I had finally had it. I just wanted to get out of the house. Amber agreed to meet me in Pasadena at the Kidspace Museum with the cousins. WE HAD A BLAST! The kids did too. It was so nice to just do something fun.

But, when I got home I was so tired. I tried to relax but I started shaking and felt cold. I did my best for about 4 hours playing with Teddy and getting him ready for bed, but when Alex got home from studying he took my temp and it was 102. I had to go to the ER because of the risk of infection so Auntie Jonna came over to watch Teddy. I was so out of it that when Billy and Sarah arrived at the hospital, I saw them and said, “Why are you guys here?” Sarah just laughed and said, “Because you’re here.” They admitted me and I finally went home around 3:00 am with antibiotics. The infection made things so much harder. The antibiotics were awful on my stomach and I was still having a full fledged “recovery” from the surgery.

I’m still recovering. Physically, emotionally, spiritually. We celebrate the life that we have and the precious boy we have. We mourn the loss of our little one. In all the mess, we continue living and enjoying and praising God for his provision and grace and LOVE.

And Teddy, he just keeps on smiling, growing, learning and changing. It’s been an insane month, but in the end We KNOW we are blessed. Blessed with life, friends, and our health. We are even blessed with the things we lose, because we had the joy of them being OURS even if it was just for a while.

To share in the joy that life brings, here are some pictures of our sweet Teddy and some of his adventures this month. Enjoy!

Happy 2014!

It’s 2014! A year that we’ve been waiting long to come for the past two years!! This year has so many wonderful adventures in store for us.

I turn 28 this year! Woot!I actually had to check that because honestly, I stopped counting after 25. Just tell me when I get to 30, okay?

We celebrate 6 years of wedding bliss! We’re going away for the weekend while my mom and sister watch Teddy for us. It’s the first time we’ll be away for a LONG time and we’re also going to be a 5 hour car ride away. If you ask me about it, I’ll just tell you that I’m trying not to think about it. It’s going to be fun and I’m excited.

Teddy is turning 1 this year. 1. So crazy. I know.

Alex is graduating from COLLEGE! YES!! Hallelujah. He has worked so stinking hard these past two years to finish his degree and we’re prayed our way through it. We’ve had to compromise so many things, miss out on so many things, and adjust our lives in so many ways. I can’t wait to spend weekends with Alex again, make memories, and take a break from school for a little bit. We’re still in negotiations on that one.

WE’RE GOING TO KAUAI! A family vacation. I seriously can’t wait. Alex and I went to Kauai on our honeymoon so it’s going to be surreal to take our son there. He’ll most likely be walking by then so chasing him around is going to be so fun. I can’t wait to lay on the beach and create new memories!

Finally, Alex turns 28 this year! Yes, I’m older, so what?! Not like he’ll ever let me forget it.

And that’s just half the year! I can’t wait to see what 2014 has in store for us.

1 Year Ago A Pregnancy Started

Today is Labor Day and it’s fitting because it was a year ago, TODAY that we found out we were pregnant. After a YEAR of trying. We were finally pregnant. I can’t believe it’s been a year. I remember shaking in total shock at the TWO LINES on the pregnancy test. After many… many 1 liners. I remember friends and family praying for us to get pregnant. And I remember my friend Amy in tears telling me she was pregnant and worried that I would stop being her friend because she’s just so darn fertile. I remember the look on Alex’s face and the tears in his eyes when I gave him the bear. I remember the shock on our families faces when we told them. Our little one was loved so much already and he didn’t even know it.

I look back and I’m so grateful. Just so in awe. That year we were trying seemed like an eternity. I can’t even imagine how hard it is for those who have to try so much longer. The heartache after heartache. I feel for you. I pray for you! I promise you, God has a plan. In the midst of it, it’s so hard to see and it doesn’t make the heartache any less painful. Be in it. It’s real and it’s okay to feel that way.

But oh, when you come through it. It’s glorious! God is so amazing in His timing. Teddy coming into our lives could not have been any more perfect. What a crazy adventure we started — just a year ago!

A Mother

Happy Mother’s Day!!

While Teddy’s due date isn’t until tomorrow (and I have a feeling he’s going to make us wait a few more days) I’m so anxious and excited about the idea of becoming a mother. It is something I have ALWAYS wanted to be. I’ve talked about it since I was young and it was something in the forefront of my mind while I was dating, and finally chose to marry, Alex. I wanted a man who wanted kids, who loved kids.

I did not know how I would become a mother. Whether through fostering, adopting or biological — as I’ve always had the desire for all three. I am so happy to experience a biological child and I hope the Lord continues to bless us with other children however he sees fit!

I’ve had wonderful examples of mothers in my life — my mom, my grandma and for the last 10 years my mother in law. Each of them is so special in their own way and I know they were hand picked by God to be the amazing influences they are for many. I can’t wait to take the things I’ve learned from them and show Teddy the kind of woman I hope he chooses to marry. She’ll be a little bit crazy, creative, loving and caring, patient and kind, always truthful and strong! May I be those things for him so he knows what to look for in a partner.

Thank you Moms for all you’ve sacrificed for us and taught us! Today we celebrate you!!

A Birth Story | Camden Reed

I had the amazing privilege to be witness to my best friend, Amy’s birth of her second child and first boy, Camden Reed Cotsenmoyer. He didn’t have a name though until after he was born since his Mom and Dad hadn’t been able to decide on one. They did, however, have it narrowed down to about 3 names.

First, let me say that I had mixed feelings about being there for the delivery. Knowing that I have to deliver my baby in just 10 weeks gave me paused because I didn’t want to be freaked out, but I prayed a lot about it and knew that I really wanted to be there for Amy — and I’m so glad I was.

Now, for the story.

It started on Tuesday the 26th around 12:30. Amy called me and said that her midwife had stripped her membranes (again — yikes!) and she had some constant cramping since then. I decided to grab the 2:30 train to La Sierra which is right across from Kaiser. Lets just say I was so anxious that I wasn’t going to be there in time that I got a little “sick” on the train. Then, my train was delayed in Buena Park due to a gas leak on an overpass we have to travel under. My Mom almost hopped in her car to come get me, but we started moving shortly after that. Mom met me at the station, dropped me off at the hospital and took Boone with her — right as Am and Trav were pulling in! (Thanks Mom!!) We went to L&D, checked in and waited. Amy kept saying she knew they were going to send her home and sure enough — she hadn’t progressed at all since her appointment that morning. Boo.

We decided to do everything we could to make the baby come out. We ate spicy Mexican food and walked around the mall twice. No dice. And I could tell Amy was getting a little restless and just wanted to go home. We made her do a few squats in the parking lot and then went home. After Tenley and I went to bed, Amy started laboring for the next two hours. I was asleep on and off but woke up at 12:15 when Robin arrived. Trav said we were going back to the hospital and leaving in 15 mins. I started timing Amy’s contractions and they were 3 mins apart and 1.5 minutes long! Oh boy. Then she started barfing. Yikes! We needed to go! As soon as Amy finished barfing in every sink in the house we were off. She consistently contracted all the way there.

When we arrived at the hospital Amy was worried she had waited too long and wouldn’t have the chance for an epidural if she needed. They decided to admit her, checked her and she was 6-7 cm! Yahoo! An hour later (about 3:15) they checked her again and she was a 7-8. And boy, was she ever ready for an epidural! It was so intense seeing her in that much pain and not being able to help her. Trav was such a trooper! She completely relied on him for comfort and he was right there when she needed with ice chips and a hand to squeeze the crap out of.

The anesthesiologist came in and I booked it out of there so she could get her meds. Whitney, Robin and I came in 45 mins later and Amy was doing much better. The midwife came in to check her and she was at 10 and ready to push! Holy cow!! We all scuffled about and someone went to get Trav. Amy pushed a few good times but nothing happened. They decided to wait a bit until the baby dropped some more.

A few more visitors came in and few more times she tried to push him down. Finally at 5:00 it was time for the real stuff! With Trav on one side, the L&D nurse on the other and Teresa cheering her on, Amy pushed and pushed! The midwife opted for an episiotomy and helped massage the baby down further. They decided to move Amy to her side and have her push and he finally moved down. Back onto her back, a few more pushes and he came barreling out at 5:13 am! He weighed exactly the same as his sister, 7lbs and 6oz and was 19.5 in long. It was amazing. They put him on Amy for a while and then grabbed him for some checking.

So many amazing people were there to assist with checking the baby’s heart beat, which had been and issue for the past two weeks, clean him up and stamp his feet. He barely cried — already so well behaved! He was very content under the heat lamps and holding Daddy’s hand until he got to feed from Mommy.

One problem though! The poor kid still didn’t have a name!! Amy had said she would know once she had seen him what his name would be so Trav went over to her and she whispered it to him. She got teary-eyed and couldn’t say it so she said, “Nevermind its a surprise!” Then she finally said, “Camden Reed.” Yay!!! Finally a name for this little guy!

They gave Camden to his Mommy and he latched right away. The L&D nurse was so helpful since Camden had started making a clicking noise and she helped correct Amy on the latch and both Mommy and baby did great.

Trav and I went into the waiting room to announce the name and everyone was so happy — probably even more happy that he had a name than that he was born!

We all took turns congratulating Mommy and Daddy and holding little Camden Reed. Then we left to take naps and let the new family get acquainted.

Later, once they had moved to the postpartum wing, Tenley got to meet her baby brother! She was so excited. She brought him a toy puppy and a drawing of hearts. She immediately wanted to hold him and kept saying, “Don’t cry baby brother…” In a sweet voice whenever he would fuss. I about balled my eyes out it was so sweet.

After all that, I am more ready than ever for my own little baby to come! I know every labor is different but Amy’s labor could not have gone any better. She felt completely listened to and no one pressured her to do anything. Her body knew exactly what to do and her team knew exactly what to tell her and how to respond to her body. I was amazed! So, for the millionth time… Can it be May already?!

Thank you Amy and Trav for letting me be a part of this experience! And thank you little Camden Reed who is asleep in my arms right now while I type this blogpost on my phone. Sweet dreams little bubba.

5 Years Later

Alexander Lopez,

5 years ago today I was waiting in a room all by myself in a wedding dress, holding a bouquet and thinking how the rest of my life was going to change in a few minutes because I was going to be marrying you. My Dad came in and we walked towards the aisle. As soon as I saw you, my feet turned into roadrunner feet and I couldn’t help running!

My Dad had to hold me back and he said, “Slow down sweetie.”

And I said, “I can’t!”

I saw you and I just knew. I was making the best decision I ever could. The ceremony was a blur, except for our time of communion together where it was just us for a while. You prayed for us and our life together and our future children. I fell in love with you all over again.

We have been through so much together since that day. We’ve moved 5 times in the last 5 years. And collectively we’ve held 4 different jobs. We have prayed for God’s divine order over our lives and He’s been faithful (even in things we didn’t understand) to provide for us just as much as we’ve needed.

Now, 5 years later, we are expecting our first baby. Our first son. You are going to be an amazing father because you are an amazing husband. I could not ask for a better person to be sharing this responsibility and joy with and I cannot wait to see how he will become and amazing man because he was raised by one.

I love you and I am so looking forward to what the next 5 years will bring.

Happy Anniversary my love,
Bubbie