Teddy | 10 Months

Teddy, I’m not going to lie, this month has been hard — to say the least. You’ve been sick, teething, trying to learn new things this month and it’s been a whirlwind. You’ve mastered copying intonation in our voices, saying, “mama”, “dada”, “bah”, “dah”, “nana” “ah-duh” and “eeeeeeeeeee”. You love to copy hand gestures and you wave at everyone. You can even sing! You constantly bring joy into our lives, even during tough times.

You have two new teeth coming in but only one has popped through giving you 5 teeth total! You just started learning to nod — though it looks more like you’re bowing, AND THEN on the last day of your 9th month on this earth you learned to walk! You’ve taken 5 steps already and you’re very apprehensive but you did it. I knew you could!

We are constantly amazed by the gift that you are to us. We love you.

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Where do I even begin? This month started out with us finding out some amazing news. While I was in the ER getting IV fluids from the awful flu I had, they doctor ran a pregnancy test and told me I was pregnant! I was floored. We had just started trying and I had taken a test the previous month but it was negative. I didn’t know how far along I was and they told me to make an appointment for that week with my OB. I drove home with new energy so excited to tell Alex. They gave me a piece of paper that said, “It has been determined that you are pregnant”, so I circled it a bunch and put some exclamation points after it. When I got home Alex was rocking Teddy so I got ready for bed and put the paper on his pillow.

When he walked in he thought it was a bill for the hospital and was frustrated, but then it hit him… “Are you serious?”, he said. I just shook my head and laughed. He face planted onto the bed. We both were shocked and excited.

The rest of the week is kind of a blur, I wasn’t able to get an appointment until the following week on a Tuesday, so we went through the week with this huge secret and getting excited. We told Teddy he was going to be a big brother — which of course he understood completely. Tuesday rolled around and we were so excited. I had mentioned to Alex that “this was the ultrasound where we [would] get the first picture of our baby!” We arrived and there was no one in the OB office, which I thought was strange. We were put into a room and we waited. The nurse and doctor came in and Alex excitedly talked with the nurse about how Teddy was going to be a great big brother. The doctor placed the ultrasound and looked and looked and looked… and looked. I saw the baby. I saw the sac. But what I didn’t see was a heartbeat. I knew. He didn’t even have to tell me. I remembered so vividly seeing the flicker of Teddy’s heartbeat and it was very clear to me that there wasn’t one here.

The doctor was quiet. The nurse was quiet. Then, finally he said, “Here’s the sac and here’s the baby, but as you can see… there is no heartbeat.” All I could say was, “Yes. I can see that.” I just started answering in the affirmative to every question. I don’t even remember what he said. Then, he printed out the picture. The first and last picture I would ever have of our baby. And I lost it. I was supposed to put that picture up on our fridge next to the one we have of Teddy. I couldn’t handle what was happening and it came out in shaking and tears.

Slowly, we began the process of telling family and friends that we had miscarried — which was difficult because we hadn’t even told everyone we were pregnant yet. I heard some amazing encouragement and had tearful phone calls for days with amazing people who loved on us. People brought us meals, visited us, took care of Teddy so I could rest and mourn. People were amazing. Loving. Alex and I researched our options, I spoke with people who had experienced all the options and ultimately we decided on a D&C. It was hard. They call it a “missed abortion”. It hurt to have a word with such a negative connotation ascribed to this situation where I wanted this baby.

Family surrounded us in the days before, loving on us and taking me shopping (Thanks Debbie). Then, my mother and grandmother came the day before my surgery and helped me. They stayed the day after so I could sleep. I remember being at peace about my decision. I don’t remember feeling empty like I thought I would. I just remember being so very tired. Teddy was amazing. He was so loving, cuddly, and so well behaved with whoever was watching him (Thanks Christy). So many people took care of us, bringing us meals (Thanks Jonna, Sarah and Billy, Sal and Barrett), wine and Oreos (Thanks Am), and talking to us (Thanks Andie, Bree, Ash, Amber, Kim, Meg, Cris, Sarah, Crisa), praying for us (Thanks, EVERYONE!). We felt so much love.

We didn’t really come out of the fog for a few days and I had finally had it. I just wanted to get out of the house. Amber agreed to meet me in Pasadena at the Kidspace Museum with the cousins. WE HAD A BLAST! The kids did too. It was so nice to just do something fun.

But, when I got home I was so tired. I tried to relax but I started shaking and felt cold. I did my best for about 4 hours playing with Teddy and getting him ready for bed, but when Alex got home from studying he took my temp and it was 102. I had to go to the ER because of the risk of infection so Auntie Jonna came over to watch Teddy. I was so out of it that when Billy and Sarah arrived at the hospital, I saw them and said, “Why are you guys here?” Sarah just laughed and said, “Because you’re here.” They admitted me and I finally went home around 3:00 am with antibiotics. The infection made things so much harder. The antibiotics were awful on my stomach and I was still having a full fledged “recovery” from the surgery.

I’m still recovering. Physically, emotionally, spiritually. We celebrate the life that we have and the precious boy we have. We mourn the loss of our little one. In all the mess, we continue living and enjoying and praising God for his provision and grace and LOVE.

And Teddy, he just keeps on smiling, growing, learning and changing. It’s been an insane month, but in the end We KNOW we are blessed. Blessed with life, friends, and our health. We are even blessed with the things we lose, because we had the joy of them being OURS even if it was just for a while.

To share in the joy that life brings, here are some pictures of our sweet Teddy and some of his adventures this month. Enjoy!

Teddy | 9 Months

You are nine months old! You spent most of the past month sick. It was so sad. You went from cold to cough to ear infection and right as we saw the beginning of nine months you were hit with an awful flu or some strange bug. We did however have some fun this past month. Even if we spent it mostly locked in our house while you were sick. You always surprise me at how much you’re up for anything and you do everything with a smile. YOU are a crazy crawling machine. You have turbo speed now and you squeal as you crawl fast toward your target. You can stand, feed yourself, and even walk along the couch. You love to climb, but hate when you fall. You do not like your naps lately and hate waking up alone. It’s been hard to put you down anyway since you’ve been so sick. I try to remember how sweet it is to hold you, so that way when you grow up and don’t want me to anymore I can cherish the times I did.
You are our sunshine Teddy bear and we love you.

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So, this post is so so so late. Just as we ended Teddy’s eight months and we’re just ringing in nine, we all we’re hit with an awful bug. I’m not even sure what it was but it hit with a vengeance and hit all of us. We’re still recovering, 4 days later.

Most of this past month was spent with poor Teddy being sick. We did however get to start off the month with a trip to the beach with Miss Marissa and Auntie Jonna while Dad was in class. Teddy LOVES the beach. It’s seriously the sweetest and most wonderful thing to watch. He has no fear of anything, seaweed, crabs, dogs running by, wet sand or even the huge waves that come crashing on the shore. He crawls right into the water, no matter how cold it is. He’s so brave and of course that excites and terrifies me all at the same time. I guess that’s just a mother’s burden to bare though! I’m so excited for him to experience life and learn things. It’s so fun now that’s he’s more mobile and so much more inquisitive.

Teddy has started to imitate our gestures and sounds more which is so funny to watch. He can shake his head “no” and he even has started to repeat inflections in our voices. For example, this past month we celebrated Nana’s 50th birthday! We had an adult dinner at The Salted Pig in Riverside which was a blast! Then later in the week on her actual birthday I thought I would record Teddy saying “Happy Birthday” to her. I said, “Say, ‘Happy Birthday!’ And he said, “uhday.” I died and so did Nana when she got the super cute video. He’s seriously the biggest ray of sunshine.

One day, I was so tired of being quarantined that I decided Teddy and I would go out to breakfast. Just the two of us. Now, we’ve done this before but it’s always sort of been an attempt for me to escape or get him to fall asleep on the way there so I can enjoy some breakfast in peace. But this time was different. I actually wanted to enjoy breakfast with Teddy. And it was really sweet. We went out to IHOP, I got a classic breakfast combo and Teddy ate my pancake. He is now so intent on feeding himself and it’s the cutest thing to watch him shovel pieces on pancake into his mouth while he “mmmms”. I’d say our first date was a success.

One of the quarantined days, I decided to at least get some house organizing done and found a box in my closet that hadn’t been unpacked yet. I remembered how my Dad had made a car from a diaper box when I was little and pushed me around in it (I don’t actually remember it, but we have it on video). I also have a friend who makes amazing creations for her two boys out of cardboard and felt inspired. I figured, since we couldn’t have a real adventure we would make one! So, I made a plane and put on Teddy’s pilot gear from Halloween. The hat barely fit but I had a blast pulling him around while he laughed and laughed.

Then, Valentines Day! Each year Alex and I go to Buffalo Wild Wings in protest of Valentine’s Day. We kind of don’t see the point in the day, to be honest. I want my family members to know everything single day that I love them. Not just on one day of the year with chocolates and flowers. But, this year… We kind of had a reason to celebrate love. Teddy. Teddy had a fun date with Auntie Jonna, who joined us for our ritual. We decided to get Teddy all dressed up and he was a good sport. He even stood on his own for 30 seconds for pictures.

We ended the month with a ditch-day on Friday to celebrate Teddy turning nine months old and truly, to have a whole day together as a family. Since Alex has class every Saturday and I work every Sunday it makes it difficult to plan a whole day outing. So Alex took a PTO day and we had a blast. We “slept in” (meaning until 7:00), and then hit the road. We stopped in Camarillo at our favorite breakfast spot, The Breakfast Cafe.

The owner remember us from our frequent visits when we lived down the street and said how big Teddy has gotten. Teddy got and ate his first Mickey Mouse pancake! It was so relaxing to have no agenda and just enjoy the day together. We ended up in Santa Barbara for lunch after some errands and a hike, and then enjoyed the beach (Teddy’s favorite). It was a wonderfully slow day. Alex and I got to talk while Teddy slept and we both were able to enjoy time with our little bear.

We love him so much and can’t wait for him to continue to grow! Here’s hoping for a happy and healthy month nine.

Teddy | 8 Months

Teddy, this past month flew by! Between Christmas, New Year’s, My birthday and Daddy and My anniversary, we’ve had a crazy month. You, still, never cease to amaze me. You are so warm and sweet. You are much more mobile now, so cuddling is rare, but you’ve started to show your preference for me and you kiss me a whole lot! You absolutely adore your Dad. Every time he comes home for lunch or home from work you leap from my arms and squeal as you crawl towards him. It’s the sweetest thing. You and Boone are best pals now. You love to give him treats and you’re learning to give him space — sort of. This month you got two new top teeth and you learned how to stand on your own for 10 seconds! I think you’ll be walking by nine months and then, I better watch out! Oh, and in other news, you slept through the night TWICE this month. Thank you for the 8 hours Teddy!

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This past month, seriously has been a whirlwind. Where do I begin? First, we celebrated Teddy’s first Christmas and New Year’s Eve/Day! We had a blast opening presents and sharing special time with family. I can’t wait to see more cousins enter the picture and see these little ones share memories as they grow. Some of my closest friends are my cousins. I cherished growing up with them and I love them dearly.

This month we had quite a few adventures. The first was an overnight stay with friends from church. Alex’s company hosts an annual party and this year I was able to help put it on! It ended up being an overnight trip so we had some dear friends from church offer to watch Teddy for us. I was nervous, but I knew they could handle it. Alex and I had a blast! Teddy on the other hand gave our friends a run for their money. I hope they still want to have children. He didn’t drink any milk for 12 hours — he just refused. Finally, they were able to get him to drink at 3:00 am and he drank 9 oz. Geesh. Still, they told me they had a fun time and they still love us, so that’s good.

That same weekend, Auntie Am, Uncle Trav, Camden and Tenley came for the weekend. Trav and Amy had a wedding to attend so Alex and I watched all three kids. Well, first Jonna and I watched them at her place because I lost my keys and couldn’t get into our apartment. Doh. Then we trekked over to our place and watched the kids go crazy in our tiny apartment. It was so much fun. When Trav and Amy got back we took out two blow up beds and made a giant one in the middle of the living room. Tenley was so excited. She kept bouncing on the bed and yelling, “This is the best night EVEEEERR!” Trav and Amy didn’t have the greatest night sleep, but I loved having them here! Next time I promise you won’t end up on the floor, freezing, sorry guys!

The weekend afterward, we drove to Mission Viejo to visit our dear friends Ali and Ashley. They are the parents to our godson Jaxon. Jaxon just go a new baby brother, so we had been dying to meet him. We drove over and they took us to a really fun petting zoo in San Juan Capistrano. Teddy loved feeding all the different animals and playing legos with Jackie.

Next, was my birthday! My first birthday as a Mom. I don’t know why Father’s Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas or New Year’s didn’t really have the effect I excepted on me — but my birthday seemed to just become a super emotional thing. Ever since I was a young girl I’d wanted to be a mother, and here I was a mother. Turning 28, standing in my kitchen with my two boys, the best birthday presents ever. I was overcome. Too top it off, both boys brought me breakfast and each gave me a birthday card. Teddy’s was my favorite.

Then our small group surprised me with a little shindig at one of my favorite places Stonehaus in Thousand Oaks. We enjoyed and evening of baguettes, wine, cheese, olives, and lots of birthday questions. Sarah, our fearless leader, always has a bunch of birthday questions that she asks the honorary birthday person and I personally love them.

I can’t forget to mention my bestie. Who drove what was supposed to be a 45 minute trip for both of us, and because of traffic and accidents turned into an hour and half trip for us both. We were supposed to meet up at a Kids Museum in Pasadena. It’s supposed to be super fun, but we didn’t realize that it’s closed on Mondays. Literally, the ONLY day it’s closed. Shoot. We made it work and approached some of the moms at the park nearby to ask what we should do. They recommended “Amy’s Place” in South Pasadena. It’s an indoor play place for the kids and man did they have a blast. Amy and I got to talk and eat our sandwiches in peace while the kids ran, crawled, and frankenstein walked (Camden) around. I love those Cotsenmoyers.

Then, came our anniversary weekend. I learned my lesson on the bottle situation and decided to solely pump for the two weeks leading up to our BIG anniversary weekend. We had planned to go out of town for 2 days while my Mom and sister came up to watch Teddy. I was nervous I wouldn’t have enough milk, but I was able to get Teddy to take a bottle for the whole two weeks prior and I even cut the milk with some formula. The day arrived for us to leave and I nervously made the 5 hour drive to Monterey with Alex. It’s amazing how Dads can just “checkout” after they kiss their kids goodbye, isn’t it? Alex was all relaxed and excited for the weekend as soon as we left. It took me a good 2 hours into the drive to finally jump on the road trip karaoke bang wagon. But, I finally did and we ended up having a wonderful trip! I definitely need to do a whole post dedicated to all the amazing things we did. First, we stayed at John Steinbeck’s cottage — it was magical. We visited quite possibility the coolest aquarium ever,  we had pancakes bigger than the plates they were served on, and ate sorbet from an ice sculpted swan. Come Sunday, I was really missing the Bubbas so we made the 5 hour trip back. Teddy wasn’t even mad when I picked him up, which made me so happy. Grandma and Auntie Jules had a great time too.

I can’t say enough how thankful I am for great friends and family who love and take of us so well. We are blessed.

Teddy | 6 Months

Half a year! Teddy, you’ve made it. Not only have you survived without any serious bodily injury, but I don’t think we’ve messed you up mentally really either. You love to challenge us — that’s for sure. You make a decision and you just go for it. Nothing is going to stand in your way!

You continue to show you absolute favoritism to our dog. Boone. Yes, Boone is your most favorite thing in the whole world. I never thought I would have to compete with the family dog, but both Dad and I struggle to get your attention if Boone is in the room. You laugh and screech hysterically whenever he enters the room.

You’re also loving food and crawling everywhere. I cannot turn my back for a second and there is absolutely no getting anything done while you’re awake. You require my complete attention now. It’s fun though. You are such a fun guy to hang out with. You love to explore things around the house. Your favorite thing right now is boxes, cords, and the laptop. That could have something to do with the fact that we moved this month, but I also think you love the computer because you get to talk to Grandma and Grandpa, Nana and Papa on the computer. You love them too, just not as much as Boone.

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Teddy has had so many adventures this month. He had his first Halloween where he dressed up as a pilot and Boone dressed up as an airplane. We really wanted to do a family costume that was a bit more creative but between the move and Alex’s school schedule, there was just no way.I look forward to doing something awesome and creative next year! Not to discredit this year, because it was pretty stinkin’ cute.

We also moved this month. It was a crazy endeavor but we could not have done it without my parents and Creswell helping me pack and our amazing friends who helped us move! Then those who came over to help me UNPACK! Seriously, we are crazy blessed. Moving with a baby was so different from other moves we’ve done. I felt completely disorganized and felt like I didn’t help at all. It was a humbling experience for me and I’ve been realizing that even though I love helping others, sometimes it’s okay to receive help as well. I don’t need to apologize for it either — just take the help and say “thank you.” Again, I am so blessed.

Teddy has his six month check up this week and I’m pretty sure he’s over 20 lbs now. Exercising with him has been fun. I feel like I’m building up some great arm muscles from tossing him in the air and doing “baby-kisses pushups”. He doesn’t stay on his back very long for those though.

The milestones that Teddy met this month include: actual crawling, pulling himself up on things, saying “baba”, getting his first teeth (the bottom two), and eating real food! I feel like this past month he just decided he was going to accomplish a bunch of things and he just did it! Remember how I was saying it’s so nice that he’s not growing up too fast? Well watch out! I’m pretty sure this kid is going to be walking by 9 months.

Teddy can crawl so quickly now. I cannot turn my back for a second. He’s getting into everything. The cupboards, the dog bowls, the boxes, the trash, cords behind the couch. He’s obsessed with everything he shouldn’t be. It’s going to be out goal this weekend to start baby proofing the house, that’s for sure.

Not only can Teddy crawl, but he can pull himself up onto things. He crawls over to his walker and tries desperately to pull himself up to reach the toys. Thank goodness we have carpet now because on the wood floors he would never be able to get up on it. There is an unfortunate side effect to this new talent though. He falls a lot! I’ve been able to catch him many times but it’s crazy how fast he just topples over without any warning! He’s a trooper and gets right back up. We haven’t had any big tears yet.

Teddy’s newest addition to his language set is “baba”. He says this all the time. When I say all the time, I mean it. At his 3:00 am feeding and diaper change, as his 6:00 am wake up call, morning, noon and night. What is hilarious is that he will not say, “dada” anymore. If you say, “baba” to him he just goes and goes repeating it back and smiling at you. But once you say, “dada” he clams up. It’s the strangest thing. But again, when he decides something he’s going to do it. No bones about it. I am of course really looking forward to him saying, “mama”. I’m pretty sure my heart with just melt out of my chest and I’lll cry.

Teddy has also started eating food this month. He loves sweet potatoes, squash, avocado and chocolate shakes. Haha, okay, we’ve only given him a few sips of one, but he sure loves it. I’m so glad he likes such a variety of foods already. What we’ve found most interesting is that he LOVES sour and salty things like pickles and olives. Of course I LOVE them too so it makes me excited to see some of myself in him.

The weekend we moved we also had a fun family celebration! Nana and Papa celebrated their 30th wedding anniversary. Papa surprised Nana with a vow renewal which we all were able to be a part of. It was very special. Afterward we went to Santa Barbara for family pictures taken by the amazing Alex Creswell (Andie as we call her) and dinner. It was a lovely day.

Finally, Teddy’s biggest and most exciting adventure this month was his first trip to Disneyland! We drove down on Monday morning to meet Grandpa, Grandma Aunt Jewels, Uncle Thomas, and Uncle Jonathan to celebrate Grandpa’s birthday. We spent all day on Monday at the park and then Teddy and I were able to stay another day at the park on Tuesday. I know that Teddy won’t really remember the trip, but I know Alex and I will have fond memories of his first trip.

I can’t believe we’re entering into the holidays. I’m so excited for Teddy’s first Thanksgiving and Christmas. Until then though, here are a few pictures from this month with our little Bubba Bear.

Teddy | 5 Months

Teddy you are our little squirmer and talker! You are always on the move. You love to jump, “walk” in your walker and army crawl. You also learned how to say, “dada” this month and you LOVE to wake up around 5:00 am with a song in your heart — except you usually share it with the entire neighborhood.

You, as usual, are very vocal about your distaste for things like your carseat and being left alone for any amount of time even if I just walk into the kitchen. You have been tasting different foods this month and I think you’re finally ready to start trying some food! At first you always make a face as though you’re shocked and mad that we fed you, but then you seem to really enjoy whatever we give you.  You’re very excited about starting to try new foods and you often try to reach for whatever I’m eating or drinking. Your hand-eye coordination is really good! You even seem to understand the difference between food items and non-food items.

You continue to be the happiest and easiest baby in the world. Even when you got sick this month with a cold we would still smile and laugh constantly. You had so many fun adventures this month including your first camping trip! You were a trooper and even slept fairly well through the night.

You most definitely are going to start crawling this month and we are SO NOT READY! But, ready or not, HERE YOU COME!

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Teddy is a champ. He’s always up for anything and boy have we tried a lot with him this month! Teddy had his first trip to San Luis Obispo this month and his first sink bath, he started saying his first word, he went on his first camping trip, and even went to the park for the first time! He is such a trooper and a dare devil. He’s fearless and comfortable doing just about anything. Some things make him apprehensive at first but once he gets going he loves whatever we throw at him.

His sleeping patterns this month have left much to be desired. He’s back to waking up every 4 hours and I am exhausted. When does the sleep come again? My brain needs it.

One thing that is amazing though is this kid’s ability to fall asleep anywhere (he gets it from his Dad for sure). In the middle of a noisy church service, a classroom, a starbucks or the beach, if this kid is tired there ain’t nothing gonna stop him from sleeping.

He still isn’t too fond of the adventure chair unless someone is sitting in the back with him. I don’t mind doing it, but on long car rides I’ve found myself getting pretty sick in the back so we’re at a point where we’re wondering if we should just let him be frustrated and figure it out or try something new. For the most part, Teddy is a super easy-go-lucky baby but when it comes to the adventure chair there is no changing his mind. He HATES it.

A few things he does love are his jumper and his walker. I LOVE it because he just goes and goes while I am cooking, doing dishes, or doing laundry. It sure beats caring around this 18 lb hunk of baby. That’s right, folks! 18 lbs.

This month Teddy was dedicated to the Lord at our church in Newbury Park. Almost all our family was able to make it up and it was a wonderful service. I remember seeing pictures and video of my brother, sister and I being dedicated and thinking how fun it would be when I had my own. I definitely teared up while we were up there with our extended family and church family lifting us up in prayer and praying blessing over Teddy’s life.

We chose 1 Samuel 1:27-28 as his life verse because it is the verse that came to me the day I found out I was pregnant. It also was the inspiration for his name because the verse explains that God was faithful to answer our prayers for a child and because of that we acknowledge that he is a gift from God and should be constantly given back to him, for his whole life. To say we are blessed seems to be the understatement of the century but we are. Here’s a link to the dedication video if you haven’t had a chance to watch it yet.

The craziest thing we did this month was a train ride from Riverside. The train was WAY better than driving because I could change his diaper and feed him whenever I needed to without having to pull over — but man, lugging around a stroller, bags, diaper bag, and an 18lb baby through Union Station is quite comical. I survived though and Teddy really enjoyed the ride.

Okay, I take it back. The CRAZIEST thing we did this month was take our 5 month old on a camping trip. EVERYONE thought we were crazy and brave. I just tried not to think about it. Being out here has been challenging and having a baby makes being a part of a community even harder because (surprise) it take a lot of work to get places and do things with a baby.

So, when our church announced that we were doing an all church camping trip, Alex and I resolved that we were going to make it happen. I am so glad we did. Teddy was fantastic and we had so much help and love shown to us on the trip. Did I mention how much I love our church family? Teddy does too, that’s for sure. He even ALMOST crawled to Miss Sarah, on the beach. This kid is not lacking in the love department at all.

What an amazing month it’s been so far. We never think it’s possible to love this little guy more, but every day we are in awe of how much more we love him. I think it’s been the craziest yet. Next month will be even crazier though because we’re attempting a move — with a baby! More on that in the future. Until then, here are a few favorite photos from our adventures this month with the Bubba Bear.

Teddy | 4 Months

Teddy, I know I say it all the time but you are just the best baby! You are so easy, friendly, cuddly and so darn sweet.  You make everyone feel like a million bucks with your sweet smile and you’re growing leaps and bounds. Your doctor says you have the biggest personality and you are so strong. He’s right! You are constantly on the move, squirming and scooting and rolling everywhere. You are getting very tired of your playmat and find it boring. You always have to exploring whatever I’m doing. It’s so sweet to watch you intensely taking in all my moves when I’m making dinner or doing dishes and playing with Boone.

You love to grab and pull. And you really love your puppy Boone. He dances around for you and you laugh. You started laughing some really deep laughs this month and it brings Daddy and I so much joy to hear it. Thank you so much for not growing up too fast — I love every moment I get to spend with you.

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Teddy is now 15.25 lbs and well over 2 feet long now. He is usually in the 90th percentile for weight, but he’s dropped down to the 70th which the doctor said is probably because of all his moving around. He rolls everywhere and squirms all the time.

My favorite thing that Teddy has done more intentionally now is holding my hand and reaching for Daddy’s & my face. It is just the sweetest thing every time. He LOVES to intertwine his fingers with mine and he even finds it comforting while we drive in the car if he can hold my hand.

Some of Teddy’s favorite people are his grandparents. He LOVES to Facetime with them and we do it as often as we can.

Some new tricks Teddy learned this month was sitting up on his own. I still prop him with pillows but he sure has some strong abs! He can sit up all on his own from a reclined position. He’s using his strength any way he can, from turning over his play gym to throwing things, and kicking and grabbing. If he wants something he just goes for it!

Another thing he’s been up to this month is getting up on his knees while on his tummy. He is working so hard to crawl, but I think he’s still going to hold out until 6 months to actually do it.

Alex thinks that he’ll be crawling by the end of this month. We’ll see!

Teddy is also obsessed with his feet. He grabs them all the time, even in the bath, which makes it hard to keep him reclined. Once he’s fully sitting up on his own we will have to transition him to a bigger tub, that’s for sure! He can’t quite get his feet into his mouth yet, but he does everything he can to try. It is so amazing to see him trying to accomplish things on his own. I’m so proud!

Now, some new things Teddy is doing that are not so awesome… He has been waking up more during the night. The doctor said it’s probably because he’s so much more aware and that putting him in his own room soon would be a good idea. I agree! It’s like every sound wakes him up. And, he’s eating a lot more — which is most likely because he’s going through a growth spurt.

But, seriously will we ever get to sleep again??

The last thing that hasn’t been that awesome is Teddy’s lack of enthusiasm about the adventure chair. We started calling it that because we wanted him to like it and be excited for all our adventures. We were doing great there for a while, but now he seems to be very aware of the fact that he’s strapped in. He can’t grab for things as easily and he can’t reach his toes. He gets so frustrated! I hope that goes away soon because we drive a lot!

Overall though, this kid is amazing. He’s the best Teddy around. I can’t wait to hear his little voice in the next few months and see how he will continue to grow!

Until then, he are a few pictures from this month.

Happy 4 Months, Teddy!

Teddy | 3 Months

You’re three months old today! As much as I’d like to say that I can’t believe it, I do. You’re getting so strong and big and independent these days, but you really know how to make me feel like a million bucks with your sweet smile and cuddles. You’re such a sweet and easy baby. You’ve been on tons of adventures this month and you are always up for anything. You even started sleeping 7 hours a night! Last night you gave Mommy and Daddy a wonderful treat and slept for 8 hours. We all woke up refreshed and ready for another adventurous day!

Teddy, you’re smile is contagious and you spread so much love. You love everyone who holds you and you have a special talent to make every single person who meets you feel like your most favorite person (even though we really know that your favorite person is me — right Teddy boy?).

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I’d say these last three months have blown by, but they totally haven’t. I am so blessed to be able to stay home with this little guy and the blessing is that I get to soak up every moment. I really take care to savory every milestone and I try and capture as many memories as I can while I’ve been given this time with Teddy. Don’t get me wrong, I love to look back at the beginning stages and see how far we’ve all come. Alex and I as parents and Teddy as he’s now a wiggling, rolling, smiling machine!

Teddy doesn’t have a three month check up so I don’t have any stats, but as far as I can tell he’s growing perfectly. He’s lifting his head like crazy, and he’s even a fan of tummy time now. Just yesterday he rolled over from tummy to back for the first time!

Then, when Daddy came home Teddy did a double roll! When this kid decides to do something, man he goes for it.

I’m trying to mentally prepare for him being more mobile now. No more, leaving him just for a second and his naps on our bed are limited if he’s going to start rolling as soon as he gets up. Just this morning he rolled over in his crib and bonked his head. Sheesh, time for bumper pads already!

We visited family a lot this month and Teddy is a champ in the car. This month, though, we did have a scare when Papa went into the hospital for what we thought was some heart problems. After a few days though, he was released and we went back home. We did have fun though visiting family and creating precious memories with cousins, aunts and uncles.

Some fun memories from this month included go to Farrel’s Ice Cream Parlor and celebrating Grandma’s birthday. She used to work there when she was 19 year old!

Also, Teddy has shown some favoritism of his left hand. We jokingly say how stoked we are that he’s going to be a left handed pitcher. But, we just want him to do what he loves. As long as it’s baseball. Juuuuust kidding.

Another big adventure Teddy had this month was a trip to Lake Arrowhead with Andie (Alex Creswell) to do a photoshoot for The Show Ponies! They asked me to style it for them and Creswell totally brought the vision to life with vintage items and a huge American flag. Teddy brought the charm and such an easy-go-lucky little guy. We drove all the way from Camarillo and up the mountain then got out and did the whole shoot just strapped to me! I swear, he’s such a easy baby.

Finally, we were extremely blessed not only to spend some great time with Creswell, but have her offer to take some family photos of us! Teddy, again, turned on the charm for these photos. I mean, seriously, this kid is too much.

Onto another precious month with our sweet Mr. Smiley!


Teddy | 2 Months

Teddy Boy! You’re two months old now, even though you look and act like you’re three months. You’re already lifting your head all over the place, talking (cooing), smiling and chuckling (you don’t really laugh, you have an old man chuckle). You make everyone smile who meets you and everyone always says what a beautiful baby you are. Honestly kid, you’re kind of one of the cutest babies I’ve ever seen.

You are sweet and cuddly, just like mommy hoped you’d be. You don’t really like to be put down but you love laying on your changing table and wiggling.

One of your favorite times of day is the morning. Grandma says you’re a morning person just like your mommy. You smile and talk and talk for a good 30 minutes in the morning while you’re being changed and dressed. Grandma says though that mommy hated being changed and dressed.

Your other favorite time of day is bath time. You love being in the shower or in the tub. You just generally like water. Nana says that Daddy loved water as a baby. It really makes me smile that you’re so much a mix of the two of us.

You’re still very vocal in letting us know when you’re happy or upset and Mommy is getting pretty good at distinguishing between your cries.

Everyone loves you so much and you’re such a sweet boy.

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Teddy is now 13.9 pounds and 24.5 inches long! The doctor said he is in the 90th percentile for pretty much everything. He had a growth spurt this month where he spent a few days just eating and sleeping. It kind of freaked me out at first and I thought he was sick, but he wasn’t ever fussy just very tired.  I have a hard time holding him on one arm because he’s so much longer!

This kid is already on the move. I often get asked, “Is he always that squirmy?”
Yes! He’s wiggling and moving all the time, even in his sleep. I put him down parallel in his crib and when I wake up for his middle-of-the-night feeding, he’s wiggled himself sideways so he’s perpendicular! I swear, this kid is going to be crawling by 4 months! I certainly hope not though because I’m not ready to start chasing after him.

I had my follow up appointment this month and received the all clear to begin exercising again. I’m not supposed to do anything too strenuous and I should refrain from doing ab exercises until he’s 10 weeks old. But, we get out almost every morning and walk about 2 miles. I’m now only 2 pounds away from my pre-pregnancy weight, Hooray! Now I’d like to start focus on building some muscle and getting my running back up to where it use to be because I need all the stamina I can get to keep up with Teddy.

I honestly love being a mom, especially Teddy’s Mom. Even with the lack of sleep and the times when I’m bouncing and swinging him close to me trying to get him to stop fussing saying over and over, “What do you want?!”

It’s weird to feel like my body and mind are not my own. Even when Alex and I went on our date night and Grandma watched him I found that I couldn’t turn my mommy-brain off. I think about him constantly. Not in a worrying sort of way, but in a way that I always want to know where he is, what he’s doing, and making sure he’s okay. I know that sounds like worrying, but it’s totally different. I just always want to be near him and see him. Sometimes I find myself eating breakfast in the rocking chair next to his crib so I can be in the same room. This baby love is intoxicating and consuming. I can’t ever turn it off! And I love it.

So many neat adventures happened this month too! Gigi Mary & Grandpa Primo drove out from Arizona to visit us so we took them to Summerland and Santa Barbara — so much fun! Mommy and Daddy got to go in a date night and we took full advantage. We saw a movie and grubbed on tons of food. We spent over $100 on one date night but it was totally worth it! Grandma (my mom) got to watch Teddy for the evening and she was in heaven.

Teddy’s biggest adventure this month was going “swimming” for the first time! He loved it and really took to the water. He also had his first trip to the beach for the sunset. He liked it, but fell asleep shortly after we arrived.

Then, Mommy, Teddy, Grandma, and Boone headed down to Riverside for more adventures. We visited The Ferards (or Ferarbs) at their house, Jeannemarie and Chris in their new apartment, The Bakers in their new house, Aunt Amber, Uncle Chris, Julian and Emmy, met some new friends Hazel, Miss Pam and Lincoln, then went to Nana and Papa’s for a yummy steak dinner, had a slumber party at Auntie Am’s house with Tenley and Camden, drove to visit Uncle Thomas and Aunt Julie Ann in their new place, met some missionary friends from Japan, and then had lunch with Grammy and Pa at their house after church! It was a full week and very fun. Teddy was a trooper in the car and I even mastered pumping and feeding him while driving down to La Quinta to visit Julie Ann and Thomas at their new place. We were gone 5 whole days and it was too much for Daddy (he’s still complaining about it). He missed us so much that after his class on Saturday he drove all the way out to see Teddy and me and we couldn’t have been happier to see him. 5 days was just TOO LONG!

We shared very some special times over the week, waking up Grandma and Grandpa in the mornings and bath times with both sets of Grandparents. That was really special to me because some of my favorite memories are times with my Grandma and Grandpa so I know the pictures and video will mean so much to Teddy when he’s older. Teddy gave everyone smiles and was very talkative. We truly are blessed by this little guy and all the family and friends who love him.

I can’t wait to see how Teddy will continue to grow and change over this next month. Until then, here are a few favorite moments from this one.

Eat, Sleep, Poop. Repeat.

Welcome to newbornhood! All Teddy seemed to do for the first four weeks was eat, sleep, poop, and repeat. I was starting to feel that new mommy feeling of being his caretaker or just a cow. Don’t get me wrong, I am head-over-heels in love with this little guy! But, when all you do is feed and change this little squishy, cute blob you start to think of yourself as nothing but a “provider of nourishment and cleanliness”.

Teddy started off sleeping 5 hours in the hospital and being “awake” for about an hour in between. The nurses told me to wake him every three hours to feed him but OH NO, this kid was NOT having it. He would fuss and cry until I swaddled him and put him to sleep. So, I decided to forget it and just let the little guy do whatever he wanted. I started timing his feeding and eating schedule and boy, was that awesome for the first week. Then, after that it became stressful as I tried to regulate a routine and he wasn’t having it — yet again. Back to letting the kid do whatever he wants. Clearly, I’m not the one in charge here.

Now, 6 weeks later, I’m the boss again! He’s so much more alert now and I can help keep him entertained during his awake time until it’s truly time for a nap. For the most part, his schedule is as follows:

6:30am – 8:30am — AWAKE TIME! Mommy is half awake from the night’s “festivities”, but I usually can drag myself out of bed, get dressed and take the little one and the pup for a walk.
8:30am – 9:00am — Quick nap. He’s usually napping once we have arrived at our destination (Starbucks or Breakfast Cafe) and on the way back home.
9:00am – 10:00am — Awake Time. Teddy usually wakes up once we’re arrived at home and we play for a while before he gets really tired and zonks out for his morning nap.
10:00am – 12:00pm — Morning nap. Sometimes I let him sleep a little longer depending on how his “quick nap” was.
12:00pm – 2:00pm — AWAKE TIME! We play and explore and then relax in the rocking chair while Teddy “tells me stories” from his adventures of the day.
2:00pm – 4:00pm — Afternoon nap. This is my favorite one, because I can usually clean (The house, the dishes, myself. Whatever is in most desperate need at the time), write, sleep, or catch a show on TV.
4:00pm – 6:00pm — AWAKE TIME! This is the best because he’s wide awake for when Daddy comes home. We talk and talk with Daddy until we pass out.
6:00pm – 7:00pm — Quick nap. Sometimes this doesn’t really happen, since this is during Teddy’s fussy time. This is usually when Mommy and Daddy get to eat and talk like adults instead of in high “princess” voices.
7:00pm – 8:00pm — Awake time. Usually Daddy is doing homework, so Mommy and Teddy have some play time.
8:00pm – 9:00pm — Bedtime Routine. Teddy gets a bath twice a week, but even if we don’t bathe him he’s a pretty sweaty little guy, so we wipe him down with the warm cloth and do lotion and jammies. Then Mommy feeds him and either Mommy or Daddy rocks him until he’s asleep.

Nighttime is a whole other animal. Teddy has been pretty consistent with his sleeping at night. He wakes up every three to four hours. The other night though, he slept for 6 hours before waking up! I couldn’t believe it. I woke up at 1:30am, fully expecting him to be awake but NOPE! He slept until 3:30am. Absolutely GLORIOUS. I thought for sure we had gone into a different cycle.

Guess again. I guess we REALLY know who’s boss.

Teddy | 1 Month

This first month with Teddy has been quite an adventure! He is already crazy strong, lifting and turning his head all over the place and I SWEAR he is smiling already. He’s generally a happy baby and is very alert. He doesn’t like his eating and sleeping times to be uninterrupted though and he can be very vocal in letting you know when he’s disappointed.

We’ve been joking that he’s a bit bipolar because we will be cooing one minute and literally in seconds screaming his head off. He seems to have to be fed before liking his diaper changed, but that has already lead to some unfortunate accidents for Daddy. He’s been peed and pooped on quite a few times already. Just this week he had to change Teddy’s diaper three times in a row before leaving for work and gave up on the last one when he soiled it again!

Teddy is in excellent shape according to the doctor (who we love!). He’s in the 90th percentile for height and weight and 60th for head circumference. He’s very active and eating well. We go in next month for his shots and I am not looking forward to it. I haven’t even brought it up to Teddy yet — maybe we’ll just let it be a surprise.

We’ve had so many wonderful visitors this first month from down south, across town and out of town; and we have many more people to visit this coming month. We love all the love and help we’ve been receiving! My mom stayed with us the first week and was such a huge help. I don’t know how we would have survived without her tracking my medications and helping me remember which side I fed the baby on last. Then, Alex had to go back to work and I was alone for the first time with Teddy. It was really hard and he wouldn’t let me put him down. Alex came home at lunch and we drove to Oxnard just to get the baby to sleep. I ran into Target to buy a Moby wrap and some batteries while Alex drove around the parking lot. It was quite comical. After that, we had more visitors! Debbie and Wil came for a few days and helped me again — this time taking Teddy so I could meet Alex for lunch. It really has been a blessing with all these visitors.

This month we also had lots to celebrate. We celebrated Daddy’s birthday and Daddy’s first Father’s Day. Teddy got him a framed picture and a card. Mommy got him a massage and Starbucks.Teddy also pooped all over himself and our comforter so horribly that we had to shower him off and the comforter was unsalvageable — so we made another trip to Target for a new comforter!

I also drove down to Riverside (with Teddy BY MYSELF) for Aunt Julie Ann’s bachelorette party where Amy and I tore it up as mommies with babies at the party. The boys had fun!

But, the biggest adventure this month was Aunt Julie Ann and Uncle Thomas’ wedding! It was Teddy’s first major road trip excursion. He was a champ and didn’t mind the car ride as long as he was full. I think Mommy and Daddy had a harder time with the whole trip than Teddy did.

I was in the wedding so Daddy flew solo for the day! I had two bags of pumped milk for him and even picked out Teddy’s outfit. We forgot the milk was in the car so it spoiled and Teddy peed and pooped all over his outfit before the ceremony even started. Poor Daddy! Luckily I was able to nurse him quickly after family pictures and before formals, but he was still hungry. Aunty Amy to the rescue with her liquid gold! I wonder if Teddy will mind if I mention in my speech at HIS wedding that he drank some bottled milk from his mother-in-law? Too much? Too weird? A mamas gotta do what a mamas gotta do! And thank God for friends like Amy who have liquid gold on tap.

Overall, this month has been crazy and amazing and wonderful! I love being a mother and Alex is a fantastic Daddy. Teddy is a great baby and I’m sure this next month we’ll figure out the whole sleeping through the night thing. Right, Teddy?

Here are a few of my favorites from this month: